Trenches

The trenches is a slang popularized by Nigerians to refer to the rural areas like the ghetto, the streets, or a tough situation.

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It started with a noise, then a rumble. It felt like her lower abdomen was going to explode. Mia started to walk a bit faster – The kids on the street were playing football, throwing bits of dirt around and she had to walk around them.

She tried to pass through a corner around the street and one of the feisty beings threw a ball at her.

Nope, not today Satan. Normally she would swing a finger or two – throw some vulgarities and threaten to dislocate an arm or neck, that usually scares the shit out of them.

Telling them to skedaddle does the trick, talking nicely does nothing. Most times she has to choose violence.

That’s what you get when you can only afford to live in the trenches. Tsk Tsk.

She seethed derisively and walked over a puddle, felt a little pain from her lower abdomen, let out a little breeze of fart and hustled her buttocks home, she might have to live in her toilet this weekend. Was it worth it? Absolutely Not.

This is another trial and error on her part – she couldn’t find a better place to eat or a good restaurant that serves food that befits her digestive tract, apparently when she had seen the signpost

” Madam Chi’s Better Delicacies” she should have known it would take a turn for the worse.

There was nothing luxurious about the food she swallowed at that woman’s restaurant – I mean the hanging signpost should have been the first warning, some letters on the name of the restaurant was missing.

The lady who attended to her seemed to have left this particular planet and was daydreaming about sitting somewhere in a swimming pool, legs dangling and eating fishes – naked – because why did she have to scream her name 3 times to jog her out of it!

Looking back at it – The waiter/bartender would probably do better in that other planet in whatever figment of imagination she introduced to her thoughts for fun, better than this piss location of a restaurant. why does she keep calling it a restaurant gaddamit!

There was no one in there eating any kind of the listed “delicacies” proudly scribbled in a bad marker on the cardboard plastered on the wall – It looked like this paper had never seen better days. This should have been a hint – yeah? But no.

She strutted there with her flat behind to poison herself.

Her intestines were not having it – She only ate bread this morning – she hated bread. she had it for a day or was it 3 days? It was sitting in her clumsy apartment and instead of starving, she had to eat it .

Thumbs up to the lady who sells it on the road for annoyingly manipulating her to buy it when she was rushing home from work.

The food looked sus’ (suspicious), the soup was runny, you could see the water and the ingredients distinguished seductively. The “Eba” was not made out of kindness, she shamelessly swallowed everything on the plate.

This is her tribe – The Trenches, so she better get used to it!

The End

– This is purely fictional –